Things Not to Say to People Who Are Going Through Real Hard S**t

Laura Nhem
1 min readAug 19, 2020


Heartbreak, Loss, Sickness is real hard s**t no matter the context.

“You’re a better person because of it”
“At least you learned”
Really? REALLY?
Why give it a meaning?
Can we accept that when it sucks, it sucks?

“Everything is gonna be okay”
“It can only get better”
LIES! It can get worse.
Worse happens all the time.
No matter how good of a person you are.

Related: “It could be worse”
Just NO! Stop it!
It doesn’t make it less painful.
You sound like an insensitive d*ck.
Why should I compare my pain to others?

“You need to get over this.”
I don’t until I’m ready to.
No one gets to judge the time it takes.
If I bore you, go away.
And don’t come back.

Learning is the inevitable result of going through hardship.
Hopefully I’ll become wiser, not more bitter, not more afraid.
There’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
There’s just the rest of my life.
I’ll try to carry the sorrow and share the love that is left.
That is the best I can do.



Laura Nhem

2nd Gen Canadian. Decorator in the Montreal tv & film industry. One-time podcaster. Life is absurd.