Je m’appelle Laura et j’ai 6 ans. Souvent, mes parents ont l’air triste et je ne sais pas pourquoi. C’est peut-être comme ça chez tout le monde. Papa, il aime bien les voyages en voiture. On va souvent voir ses amis et de la famille. Il aime socialiser. Maman, elle, est plus timide mais elle adore cuisiner et partager ce qu’elle connaît de la nourriture. Mes parents ne jouent pas beaucoup avec moi car ils travaillent énormément. Je dois trouver des façons de m’occuper. On n’a presque pas de jouets. Mes parents ont des cicatrices sur leur corps. …

Tombes de mes ancêtres

L’effort de ne pas voir devient de plus en plus difficile. Il devient évident que ce qui semble être de l’ignorance est de l’aveuglement volontaire…oui, volontaire. Car comment expliquer une personne qui dit “ne pas voir de couleur”. C’est beaucoup d’effort de ne pas voir de couleur. Comment expliquer le déni face au racisme systémique après toutes les commissions d’enquête, les données, les exemples?

Comment est-ce que tout ça peut ne pas être volontaire?

Cette automne…Escouade 99. J’aurais espéré qu’ils fassent mieux, mais je ne m’attendais pas à ce que les producteurs soient capable de voir la complexité des personnages…

A sequel to “Dear Diary, My Boyfriend is Dead”

I had been thinking about writing a sequel to “Dear Diary, My Boyfriend is Dead” but nothing felt right. Then, I had the idea for this article and knew that this was what I wanted to share.

I’ll start by stating that my friends are incredible. We’ve had ups and downs, we all made mistakes and that’s okay. I am assuming that if you are reading this, it’s because you already are or are interested in being a more amazing friend. …

This is a text I wrote 4 months after I saw my boyfriend suffer and pass away. It’s been 2 years and 1 month. I’m starting to feel okay.

His last birthday cake was a bad pun.

List of memories, scatology, illness, difficult conversations, soap opera, extracts from recent readings. A narcissistic text describing moments in the past and the present to help me walk toward my future. A text made public to face my fear of becoming vulnerable to life again.

“If time measures one thing, it’s wounds. I believe I have no more, no less than any human being; hence, many. Far from weakening me, this common lot has exposed my heart.”
- Personal translation of La nostalgie heureuse, Amélie Nothomb, 2013.

Last week I told a stranger about my year. He asked me questions…

Heartbreak, Loss, Sickness is real hard s**t no matter the context.

“You’re a better person because of it”
“At least you learned”
Really? REALLY?
Why give it a meaning?
Can we accept that when it sucks, it sucks?

“Everything is gonna be okay”
“It can only get better”
LIES! It can get worse.
Worse happens all the time.
No matter how good of a person you are.

Related: “It could be worse”
Just NO! Stop it!
It doesn’t make it less painful.
You sound like an insensitive d*ck.
Why should I compare my pain to others?

“You need to get…

Once we hit our thirties, life has alienated us in many ways. We probably know what heartbreak is in friendships and partnerships, what raising a family is, what it’s like to be in the workforce, we have witnessed numerous failed efforts in changing the world and we have seen at least one loved one fall ill and pass away. We know what pain is and the beautiful fantasies we had about our careers and love have been destroyed. What now?

I have dealt with feelings of alienation since I can remember. Is this worth it? What’s the point? Why do…

Life is like a bowl of dumplings, you never know what you’re gonna get….except if you are alone at the restaurant or if you made them at home or…anyway, you get the point.

Did you ever eat soup dumplings? They are super comforting on a rainy autumn day.

But then, you bite into one and it splatters on you. How could you do this to me little dumpling? Can I trust you again? Mmm….I’m not sure.

(eats another one) My bad, I wasn’t careful the first time. Sorry for blaming you juicy dumpling!

(eats another one) Oh, this was a…

Laura Nhem

2nd Gen Canadian. Decorator in the Montreal tv & film industry. One-time podcaster. Life is absurd.

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